she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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