; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
