If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
