Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
