u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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