i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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