Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
