just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
