anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
