I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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