oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
