I feel great
I just peed on a car
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
