Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
