Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
