he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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