Dual....:-)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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