You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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