Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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