I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
