What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
