Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
