Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I believe in your delicious
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