he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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