He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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