...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
