Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
