walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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