Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
