If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
