these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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