I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
