U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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