It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Success! We fucked roommates!
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