he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
home. puking in laundry basket.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
