go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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