I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
