Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
