I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
