I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
