i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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