ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
