The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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