i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
