Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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