I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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