He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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