There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
