And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
