i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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