she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
