Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
this hospital has no fireball
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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